The Importance of Modesty

One of the things that appeals to me most about lolita is the modesty. As your typical teenage girl, I am surrounded daily by short shorts, revealing shirts, bare shoulders, 'sexy' haircuts, and the like. For a long time, I bought into this for the sole purpose of fitting in, not because I was desperate to be 'normal', but because this was what I had grown up with and therefore it was what appealed to me. I got annoyed at school dress codes and badgering mothers like every other girl my age. Then I hit high school, and I started making friends with another group; the kids who either didn't care about looking sexy or didn't want to look like everyone else. For some, it was a concious decision, for others, it simply came natural. I began to care less myself, but will admit to wearing the occasional leopard-print low-cut shirt to impress a certain adorable red-headed boy.

But the more I get into lolita, the more I start to realize: this is not only unneccesary, it is inappropriate. Covering up our bodies is the best way to communicate that, while we are by no means "off-limits", we are certainly not objectifying ourselves for the benefit of the male race. The layers of lace and cotton and tulle combined with the plethora of bows and ribbons may call attention to ourselves, but we keep ourselves modest. There are no breasts peeking out over the neckline of the dress, no miniskirts or bare legs- even the arms usually remain covered. We appear like a doll- beautiful, perfect, elegant- but at the same time make it clear that we are not to be owned.

It is for these reasons that I find the substyle ero lolita (erotic lolita) to be highly immoral. While I am aware that it certainly does not involve suddenly wearing sexy lingerie out to public, all previous values of modesty are out the window. Bare shoulders and arms, short skirts, and often revealing dresses or blouses, along with 'fetish' elements such as leather, classify this style. I think it's disgraceful, and while of course that's not to say that anyone who wears this style is immodest or immoral, that is my opinion of the clothes.





During the yard sale I mentioned earlier, I sold every single shirt I had that was even slightly revealing and all of my shorts. I now own nothing but T-shirts, jeans, and a few modest dresses. And, soon, a whole new closet of (modest) lolita. :)