What Pretty Means

Why do I like lolita? The answer is simple. It makes me feel pretty.

Okay, so am I a walking stereotype or what? That's what all lolitas are 'supposed' to say, because of course pretty clothes make you feel pretty. Therefore that must be the only reason one would wear pretty clothes, right?

Wrong.

While that may be true for most lolitas on the surface, in reality it goes so much deeper than that.

Like every other 4-year-old girl, I wanted to be a ballerina princess when I grew up. I did ballet for a while. I drew dozens of pictures of elegant, floor-length ball gowns. Then, for some unexplained reason, I suddenly stopped and transformed into a tomboy. Pink? Gross. Dresses? Over my dead body. Skateboards, skinned knees, video games, and twigs and dirt in my hair were a way of life. Slowly but surely, I grew out of that phase, although I can still kick my brother's butt- both on Guitar Hero and in real life.

When I finally started getting into lolita, it gave me a much-needed dose of pure, unbridled feminism. Here were the frills, ribbons, laces, and general poofiness I had not seen since I had last drawn them in first grade. I looked at each dress with a sense of longing. I had dressed up before, sure, but I had never truly been pretty. I hadn't even known what pretty meant. How could I have, when pretty was staring me quite plainly in the face and I had never seen anything like it before?

When I tried on my first lolita dress, I felt something I had never felt before- beautiful. I had seen pretty, and thought pretty, but now I felt it. It was the most wonderful experience I had ever had.

I think we all want to feel pretty, deep down, even if we still have other reasons for dressing the way we do. For some, pretty means a skateboard in hand, ripped jeans and a T-shirt.



For others, it's that lovely strawberries and ice-cream JSK from Angelic Pretty's Milky Berry.



Who cares if I'm a stereotype? I have my reasons, and I feel good about it.

Do you?

What I Should Be Getting Soon

So, as per request of my friend Ler, and also because I am simply too lazy to email them to her, here are the clothes I will be recieving in the mail in a few agonizingly long weeks:















All photos courtesy of www.fanplusfriend.com

The Importance of Modesty

One of the things that appeals to me most about lolita is the modesty. As your typical teenage girl, I am surrounded daily by short shorts, revealing shirts, bare shoulders, 'sexy' haircuts, and the like. For a long time, I bought into this for the sole purpose of fitting in, not because I was desperate to be 'normal', but because this was what I had grown up with and therefore it was what appealed to me. I got annoyed at school dress codes and badgering mothers like every other girl my age. Then I hit high school, and I started making friends with another group; the kids who either didn't care about looking sexy or didn't want to look like everyone else. For some, it was a concious decision, for others, it simply came natural. I began to care less myself, but will admit to wearing the occasional leopard-print low-cut shirt to impress a certain adorable red-headed boy.

But the more I get into lolita, the more I start to realize: this is not only unneccesary, it is inappropriate. Covering up our bodies is the best way to communicate that, while we are by no means "off-limits", we are certainly not objectifying ourselves for the benefit of the male race. The layers of lace and cotton and tulle combined with the plethora of bows and ribbons may call attention to ourselves, but we keep ourselves modest. There are no breasts peeking out over the neckline of the dress, no miniskirts or bare legs- even the arms usually remain covered. We appear like a doll- beautiful, perfect, elegant- but at the same time make it clear that we are not to be owned.

It is for these reasons that I find the substyle ero lolita (erotic lolita) to be highly immoral. While I am aware that it certainly does not involve suddenly wearing sexy lingerie out to public, all previous values of modesty are out the window. Bare shoulders and arms, short skirts, and often revealing dresses or blouses, along with 'fetish' elements such as leather, classify this style. I think it's disgraceful, and while of course that's not to say that anyone who wears this style is immodest or immoral, that is my opinion of the clothes.





During the yard sale I mentioned earlier, I sold every single shirt I had that was even slightly revealing and all of my shorts. I now own nothing but T-shirts, jeans, and a few modest dresses. And, soon, a whole new closet of (modest) lolita. :)

Blogging and the Mall

Hello out there to the only follower I have so far, who just so happens to be one of my relatives... Yes, I was completely lame and begged people to read my blog via facebook. My heart goes out to Charissa, though- even my mum hasn't subscribed to me yet. XD

I have another blog, but it would never have occured to me to write a blog about lolita- my other one is just my completely random, usually insane, often incoherent thoughts- if I hadn't read almost a dozen other lolita blogs which inspired me to make my own about my journey into the world of lolita. My personal favorite is www.herlumpiness.blogspot.com, which, while the name is certainly extremely odd, belongs to a young woman of notable beauty and great sense of lolita fashion. There's another one I like quite a bit, but the name escapes me at the moment; I'll probably add it later as an edit when I do remember.

So for any up-and-coming lolitas who stumble across this blog and wish to educate themselves further in the world of lolita without having to go through (entirely) the process of making mistakes and correcting them, I suggest reading the above blog (as well as my own hehe ^^), and also recommend the site www.lolitafashion.org, which I have found to be indespensible. Also, if you haven't heard yet: you must watch Kamikaze Girls before you can even contemplate calling yourself a lolita. It's something of an initiation rite.

And while I'm thinking about it: let's face it, the movie-making quaility of Kamikaze Girls sucks. I hate to say it, but I simply must speak my mind!!! I would dare to compare it to the late seventies and early eighties of American filmmaking, without the classic eighties hard-working montage set to some 'groovy' music (oh, yeah. I'm a movie buff, big time). While Kamikaze Girls (and many seventies and eighties American movies) may very well be classics and absolutely wonderful for their time, I must pose the question: WHY is Japanese filmmaking so far behind??? This is why I stick to anime, people.

Sorry, I tend to rant ^^;

On the subject of my ordering the second round of lolita clothing: we ended up having security problems with the ordering portion of the website, and we ultimately decided to order the remaining half from the same website, which means I have to pour over my catalouge again and pick out another handfull of mother-approved lolita clothing. We also agreed to go out to the mall later today and get some nice earings, headbows, tights, and shoes. Oh, and also Burger King at the food court ^^

But as for now, she's pretty tired after our yard sale. Huge success! I haven't divied up my portion of the loot yet but we made over $100, and we were only open for two and a half hours! We'll be doing this again next week. Anyways, she's taking a nap right now so I'm being very quiet (I sound like I'm talking about a three-year-old, geez ^^). Then again, it's past five already- maybe I should go wake her up.

Off to the lion's den I go!
Lots of love,
Ara

Every Story Has Its Beginning

Name: Ara
Age: 15
Location: North Carolina

I don't remember how I got into lolita. I think maybe I was just looking for clothes online, or maybe I was reading something about anime and the term popped up. What I do remember is falling head over heels in love with this dress:



This was in eighth grade, and I immediately determined that it was going to be my prom dress. There was no question in my mind that this was what I had been searching for my whole life, nevermind the fact that just moments ago I was unaware I had been searching for anything (except possibly clothes or the title of an elusive anime). Something in the layers of chiffon, scalloped edges and soft cotton spoke to me, pulled me in, invited me to explore further. And explore I did, delving into the white lace, petticoats, tulle, and black ribbon that is gothic lolita. A list of every dress, skirt, shirt, and accessory I wanted someday took up a full eleven pages in my journal, every single one from cosmates.com. This is what I refer to as my 'innocent' stage; before I had even heard of Baby, the Stars Shine Bright, Moi Meme Moitie, OPs, JSKs, or anything other than cotton, dress, or lace, really.

Even though they took up so much space in my journal, I never thought this would be something to wear everyday. I thought school dance, prom, passover at Bubbhe and Zade's or Christmas at Yaya's. I've never been the patient kind- I want it right now or not at all- but I obssessed over gothic lolita for months- a passion surpassed only by my love of genetics. We're talking about a girl whose attention span averages about thirty seconds here. My mother began to take notice, but not much.

By the time summer rolled around, I had discovered fanplusfriend.com, along with the concept of wearing lolita on a daily basis. I determined that I wanted a gothloli wardrobe by the start of high school. A sufficient lack of funds informed me that this would not be happening.

Winter: I became more obsessed and more determined to own a lolita wardrobe. I sent my mother links to a few lolita winter coats in the wild hope that she would buy me one. She responded by getting me a long winter coat that I actually like quite a bit, although it's anything but stylish (and certainly not lolita).

Spring: more obsession, more determination, more links sent to my mum. Then my friend Luffy (I call him that because he's obsessed with One Piece) invited me to prom. I jumped at the chance to show my mother my dream dress, but it wouldn't have arrived in time. Still, bound by determination, however, I hunted for almost a week before settling on another (shorter) gothic lolita dress.

Summer: Animazement comes. I, of course, wear my dress, though I am tutted by some for being merely a 'cosplay lolita' and by others for doing such a poor cosplay of Misa- I don't even read Death Note! I attend a a lolita panel and learn what OP, JSK, and various other terms are, and am introduced to the concept of name brands. I also learn more about other types of lolita, but am mostly uninterested in them except for kuro lolita and a few punk lolita outfits.

One month ago: the story finally picks up! I inform my mother of how much I want to own more lolita clothing- I already wear my prom dress to every outing, be it dinner or the movies. To my surprise, she offers to help me and tells me to put together a catalouge of my favorite pieces. As I am doing so, I gain an interest for almost every type of lolita style except guro and ero. In fact, country lolita is fast becoming my favorite, even over gothic. The requirement is that I must clean my room before we order anything. This takes me approximately three weeks, and I finished at something like two in the morning yesterday. We ordered $250 worth of clothing last night and will be ordering another $250 worth today from a different site- which is nothing in the world of Baby and Moi Meme Moitie, so for now I'm sticking to offbrands- and tomorrow I shall sell a good 4/5 of my current wardrobe at our garage sale to make room for all the lace and frills that shall soon inhabit my closet, and also for just a little extra cash. Maybe I'll use it to go to the movies this weekend- dolled up in the only lolita dress I currently own, of course. :)